Bell Bottoms

Hi Dorigen,

I have 329 days to go before I can purchase clothes again. As mentioned, I am allowing an exception – the purchase of one pair of jeans (or jean shorts) if absolutely necessary, i.e. just in time before my blue jeans disintegrate again. I have already cut up a pair of black moto jeans with a crotch of questionable integrity for shorts, so that leaves the possibility of jeans “actual.”

I own three pairs – 1 black (newish), 2 blue (oldish) – they are all skinny jeans, and I would like to try a new shape. Apparently, the most flattering jeans are boot cut or straight leg, so (in typical form), I have been sniffing around shapes that are rarely recommended, in particular one I have not worn in 20+ years, when the 70’s was cool again the last time – bell bottoms. I’m trying to balance out a round belly, so I thought a high rise bell bottom could be a flattering option; that is until you sent me a picture of Jessica Simpson looking her absolute worst.

Jessica Simpson in the worst bell bottoms

hey, girl, hey

Thank you.

Em

No Mo

Well hello there Dorigen,

Long time no blog chat. I hear you had a niece for me. Thank you. Now, on to fashion. I recently 80% decided to stop buying clothes for 1 year, and have been met with mixed reviews from family, friends, co-workers, really anyone who will fall into a conversation with me.

But, here’s the rolling thought…

A few months back I happily and without regret had a fabulous stylist do a closet consultation for me – what can go, what can be added, and what are outfits that work with what I have. I ended up purchasing some additional items, and I am happy with what I bought. Also, in my recent visit, you gifted me some hoop earring and other jewelry staples from your fab wardrobe. So, now I am wondering – at what point is my wardrobe complete? “Complete” in the I-could-go-a-year sense. Do I really need to turn 90 by the time this seemingly miraculous event occurs?

I argue, no-ish.

So, (I totally snuck in another dress purchase on 3/26), I have now 81% decided to stop buying clothes until 3/27/16.

  • This includes: clothes, shoes, bags, coats, jewelry, scarves, belts, etc.
  • This excludes: undies, bras, tights/cheap leggings, socks, etc.
  • Exceptions: A) I get to buy 1 pair of jeans (which could be jean shorts) and B) if something rips at work, and cannot be fixed with a handy sewing kit.

Am I crazy pants?

Em

P.S. Today, I wore the Black Friday Dress.

Black Friday

Dear Dorigen,

Happy Thanksgiving / Thankskilling!  I 100% went online last night and bought a Black Friday dress.

blackfriday

Thank you Asos

I am concerned that Asos is a bit “juniors” in their sizing, so hopefully this fashion quilt with pockets fits.  Otherwise, I will have to wear the same holiday festive dress I wore last year to my company’s holiday party.

xmas

I always want to put an “e” on Ann[e] Taylor.

I have not worn it since, because I have had no other occasion to wear elbow sleeves with clown ruffles.

Love you,

Em

Cashmere for Babies

Dear Emily,

Your beloved J.Crew has just launched a line for babies.  This is an adorable sweater:

hug me

The question is, does my 3 month old child need a $93 sweater made out of (hypoallergenic) baby alpaca wool hand knit in Bolivia by “a self-managed community of indigenous women, enabling them to afford proper health care and schooling for their children”?  The answer: No.  What are your thoughts?

Dorigen

Dear Dorigen,

Le sigh.  Le purr.  Le cashmerrrrrrre for babies.

Now, I can understand the obvious connection between babies ‘N cashmere: babies are wonderful and soft and precious and expensive; cashmere is wonderful and soft and precious and expensive.  But, I cannot with babies IN cashmere; these little guys are messy.

If they are lucky, 9 out of 10 babies will be begrudgingly stuffed into one of these tangerine stripped cashmere sweatshirts or a heather grey onesie with a heart/pirate insignia and immediately spew whatever they can all over it, in every impossible direction.  Babies want to be naked anyway, and they don’t understand that this confection wrapped around them cost $178, plus tax and shipping.

Admittedly, I am all for spending a significant price on clothing if need be, i.e. I have said to myself that I will wear these fancy dark wash, straight leg jeans for one year, so I will spend the $129.  But best laid plans something something dark side, because my $129 jeans, purchased oh a few months ago, just ripped a gaping hole in the crotch on my way to work today.  The diligent sew job with the Walgreen’s sewing kit at $4.99 only angered the hole, which reasserted itself more aggressively throughout the day, until I had to then feverishly seek out the nearest Gap for less-than-fancy dark wash, straight leg jeans on sale for $53.  They are mom jeans.

For all that extra spending, I could have just gotten my darling baby niece a darling baby cashmere sweater for a quick snapshot before all the spewing.   So, in about face conclusion, “sure” to baby cashmere, and “absolutely” to sweatpants.

Love you,

Em

Over the Knee Boots

Dorigen,

As a grown woman in my 30’s, are over-the-knee boots fabulous or shameful?

Image

These are too rich for my blood and are listed as “5th Avenue Extended-Front Knee Boot.”

Ok, full disclosure – so, that picture shows some super cute boots, and if I was actually able to buy those, there would be no question that I would buy them, regardless of your response.

But, you know I’m checking out these from, you guessed it, Aerosoles.

Love,

Emily

Dearest Emily,

As a working mom, I have to say over-the-knee boots are totally impractical and a waste of money.  And that I would also totally rock those ones above in a heartbeat.  Personally, I think over-the-knee boots that hit just at the knee are totally leg-elongating and cute.  Any higher and you get into Pretty Woman territory and nobody needs that.  Your brand-loyalty to Aerosoles is steadfast and enduring, and I find those boots to be pretty cute and safe for the price, though they are faux leather, which needs to be seen in person.  

But I have to ask, why do shoe stores name all of their shoesWHY are the boots you linked to called “Baking Sota”? Is that a pun?  Because I’ve spent several minutes thinking about it and I am coming up blank.  It’s not even descriptive. 

This one, for instance, is called “Bridel Suite”:

26_BRIDEL-SU_BRIDEL-SU001_6Why??  So it’s an alternative spelling of “bridal suite.”  There is nothing bridal about a tall black boot.  “Bridle Suite” might have kind of worked because it’s sort of a riding-boot style and bridle=horse-related, ok I can get there.  But Bridel? I googled it and it’s a town in Luxembourg.  Is there a wacky tongue-in-cheek boot-related reference I’m missing here?

On this search, I also found a link to the website of one David Bridel, “choreographer, teacher of acting, movement and clown”.   I wonder how many people looking for reasonably-priced bridal gowns end up on his site, and how many end up hiring him as a clown for their special day.  Probably none.

Fondly,
Dorigen