Monthly Archives: May 2012

Romper

Dorigen,

Please explain a romper.

Emily

Emily,

I don’t really understand how this happened.  Until a few years ago, a romper was a one-piece playsuit for babies, also known as a onesie.  

Having never had a baby, I’m not sure what the practical benefits are of a one-piece outfit.  Maybe it saves you from having to continually tuck in your toddler’s shirts?  Less laundry than separates?  The legs cover unsightly diaper rash that a dress might expose?  I’m not sure. At any rate, suddenly it has become a fashion item for grown women – an easy breezy summer staple for hitting up barbecues and festivals.  I would like to point out, however, that baby  rompers have a major design feature that adult rompers lack: crotch snaps.  

There is no good way to navigate a port-o-potty in a romper.  But the idea of a crotch snap brings back nightmarish visions of the bodysuits of the early 90’s. This one has the added features of being a ribbed knit and having a mock turtleneck, just how we liked to wear them with our high waisted jeans.


I admit that I do find today’s lady rompers much cuter than the bodysuits of yore, but will probably look back and wonder what I was thinking.  I will close this post with the most awesome clip ever, which I found searching the internet for 90s bodysuit.  Rosie Perez working it OUT on Soul Train to Whitney Houston’s ‘So Emotional.’  You’re welcome.

Dorigen

Team Building

Emily,

My bowels are filled with dread as I prepare for a 2-day work retreat. I wouldn’t mind so much if it had the possibility of being something like this:

But it’s going to be two full days of poorly conceived powerpoint presentations in a crappy hotel in Connecticut. What is the worst work-related activity you’ve had to be a part of?

Dorigen

Dorigen,

Girl, I am all for team building.  Um, my senior high school camping trip ended in my group winning the team building award, and I think it was in large part to me publically apologizing to a girl I was mildly rude to my freshman year, for jumping into the lake from my canoe to help teach best rescue techniques, and for using the plastic bag that held our props for the talent competition as a hair piece, because we ran out of props. 

I will trust-exercise anyone under the table. 

These events are an excuse to do ridiculous things with people that can otherwise be intimidating or annoying.  Have fun.  But to answer your question, the worst work related activity that I have had to endure is sharing a large bathroom.  Ugg.

Emily   

Bamboo Earrings (at least two pair)

Dorigen,

Your SWV post brought me back.  Please explain a bamboo earring.

Emily

Emily,

I am officially lost in late-80s/early-90s nostalgia.  Or as Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam would say, I am lost in emotion.

Bamboo earrings are chunky gold earrings shaped like bamboo that were favored by “around the way girls” in the 80s.  I have no idea who came up with the concept or how they became so ubiquitous, but Lisa, Angela, Pamela and Renee all wore them.  And, seriously, how awesome was this song and video?

I certainly had my own pair of bamboo earrings.  I also had a pair of mustard colored denim overalls that I wore with one strap down.  And my best friend Loraine had a pair of bright blue overalls that she wore with the opposite strap down and we wore them at under-18 hip hop nights where we would do the dance routines we had worked on all week after school.  Because we thought we were Sidney and Sharane from House Party.  

I wonder if they still have those nights.  They were sponsored by Milwaukee’s R&B & Hip Hop radio station (Fresh 107 or something like that) and were held in low-rent hotel ballrooms and named after a hit song of the day.  Jackin’ For Beats had a long run.  There was a Jackin’ for Beats night part 13, if I recall correctly.  A lot of people wore Skidz.

I have gone too deep into this nostalgia vortex for the moment and I now need to lie in a fetal position and read Game of Thrones.   Goodnight.

Dorigen

Cinnabon

Emily,

Please explain Cinnabon.

Dorigen

Dorigen,

Mt. Dew may be nectar from the Gods, but a Cinnabon is my ambrosia.  I will consistently walk past the delicious scent of Mrs. Field’s cookies at the mall food court* for these excessively large, decadently undercooked, dessert/breakfast/lunch/dinner/reason-to-live treats. 

And then Burger King made a deal.  Chicago is littered with display Cinnabon balloons, that I could easily excuse if they were wearing a Burger King crown tipped to the side.    

work

After (multiple) taste tests at the BK, I have found that… Lost is the freshness.  Lost is the experience of watching expert part-time teenagers and the occasional sassy crazy person make these rolls (these “bons,” if you will) from scratch, right in front of you, with a pound of butter like the heavens intended.  Lost is the gargantuan size.  Lost is the recipe too, because I swear they taste different – is that WHEAT flour I taste? 

I don’t like to see my big babies this way, but I’ll tell you straight, my future is sealed – I will never enter a Burger King again without ordering this dessert. Stale or not, these are ancillary Cinnabons, which is infinitely better than no Cinnabons.

Emily

P.S. If you noticed the * and if you saw the movie “Mallrats,” then you know a correction is about to take place.  “The food court is downstairs. The cookie stand is upstairs… Eateries that operate within the designated square downstairs count as food court. Anything outside of said designated square counts as an autonomous unit for mid-mall snacking.”  Apparently. 

Emily,

Wait, there are no free standing cinnabons anymore???  That was my airport treat!  Oh the humanity.  Between this and Taco Bell, part of my soul has died.

Dorigen

Dorigen,

OMG, no, you can still purchase Cinnabons at your local mall or airport; in fact, might I suggest we start a franchise?  Sorry for the confusion / horror; I was just sayin’ I could walk around not eating a Cinnabon or I could walk to my local BK (which is only a block away, next to the Dunkin Donuts) and pick up a stale sort-of Cinnabon.

Emily

 

S, S, Double, Double U, To The V

Emily,

I’m having a major early 90s R&B nostalgia moment.  Apparently, so are SWV.  They’ve got a new album out, I Missed Us.  Girls, so did I.  They just don’t make girl groups like this anymore.  The attitude, the NAILS!  It makes me want to grab two friends and dress up in matching leather vests, caps and huge earrings.

Take a walk down memory lane with me, sis.  This video is amazing.  I love their ghetto living room with the ironing board in it.  Keepin it real.

Dorigen

Dorigen,

Yes, girl, yes.  Do you remember when I visited you in Boston, and we went to fix your tips?  I got just the one nail done, and it was SWV style – my pinkie was a long sunset with an island, palm tree, seagull, and a dolphin splashing in the ocean.  Magical.

Emily