Dowager Countess

Emily,

Is there some way I can grow up to be like the Dowager Countess of Grantham?  I need to start working on my one-liners.

Dorigen

Dorigen,

Let me first admit that despite frequent recommendations, I have yet to watch Masterpiece Theatre: Downton Abbey.  Your question is foreign to me.  It’s like me asking you how I can be more like my girl Raja from RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 3 (a season, I know you have not yet seen). 

The answer, of course, is to get down to my birth weight and to slightly cross one eye; however, I think the answer to your question about Dowager Countess is more complex, even for an avid viewer.  Still, I’m always up for a challenge and for making some shit up based on very little information (i.e. just the provided video), so here goes…

First off, Maggie Smith is excessively old (damn near 80).  She’s at an age where a status website may soon be posted, a la Abe Vigoda.

Being the oldest person in the room allows for certain advantages, like saying whatever you want, using a vocabulary developed over many years of reading dense literature and the occasional scandalous romance novel.  Oscar Wilde is great homework for one liners.  Developing a distain for all things “modern” seems also necessary for Countess emulation.  Perhaps wear more hats, larger for more superiority. 

One day we will both be so seasoned.

Emily

 

P.S. I am now half way through season 2 of Downton, and am loving it.  I stand by my previous notions about the Countess.

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